Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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