i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I pour the whiskey from now on
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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