mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize