News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize