put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize