Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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