Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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