Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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