Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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