as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Drake has all the answers
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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