they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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