you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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