please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize