She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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