new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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