if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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