based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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