I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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