He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i barfeds in our rink
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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