So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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