Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize