Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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