i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize