and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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