HIV tests are more positive than that guy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
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Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
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Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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