omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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