Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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