Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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