Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
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Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize