I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize