Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize