so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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