i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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