Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
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And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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