i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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