He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize