those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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