sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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