went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
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Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Damn victory sex feels great
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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