We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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