We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my god I love twenty year old dicks
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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