the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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