I'm lost and stupid without you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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