dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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