You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize