Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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