I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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