i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize