I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize