you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize